


What Did I Do?

by fencingfox



Series: This October Night [14]
Category: Star Trek: Voyager
Genre: AU, Angst, F/M, Fictober 2019, Fluff, Inktober 2019, Kinktober 2019, Punishment, Whumptober 2019, where they meet at the Academy
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-10-14
Updated: 2019-10-14
Packaged: 2021-01-13 14:09:52
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,180
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/21032546
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/fencingfox/pseuds/fencingfox
Summary: Caldik Prime, the main planet of its star system and home to a shiny Starfleet facility, is also the place of B'Elanna's worst day. She should have known better than to trust a human.





	What Did I Do?

**Author's Note:**

> here we go  
buckle up  
...  
no srsly  
don't crash ur shuttle
> 
> * * *
> 
> Lyrics (modified) from _Perfect_ by Ed Sheeran (B'Elanna)  

> 
> Lyrics from _Crying_ by Roy Orbison (Tom)  

> 
> * * *

* * *

**| "I can’t come back." | tear-stained | punishment | overgrown |**

* * *

_I found a love for me_

_I thought that I was over you_

* * *

"Hey you," Tom rounds the corner of the shuttle bay and taps B'Elanna's shoulder. He wishes he'd brought her something but the hospital has strict replicator rules and foreign object policies. B'Elanna is smiling when she looks up at him. 

"Hey yourself." 

"Hey Tom," he smirks. She laughs. It's a lovely thing: her laughter. Tom sits down next to her. "Lunch." She purses her lips and looks over the engine component she'd pulled from his favorite shuttle. They're sitting at its bow. 

"Can't. I need to get this done and then get back in time for track practice." Tom's mood plummets. He's only got a month before he takes his assignment at Caldik Prime. It's a bit far to visit B'Elanna enough for his liking and he's avoided the topic with her for as long as he can. He'd planned to bring it up over lunch. 

"You didn't tell me you got on the team," Tom's happy for her...even if it means he'll see even less of her. It's good that she's making friends. She probably joined too late to actually participate in meets but that means she'll just have to train for next season. 

"If it gets me out of the swim class next year, I'm all for it." Tom chuckles. B'Elanna picks up what looks like a small torch. He can't remember the name of it. She points it at a loose panel to fuse it shut with a low hum. 

"What? Klingons don't like water?" 

"No just me. It messes up my hair." Tom suddenly remembers that all of the Klingons he's seen in holonovels or political dinners his father dragged him to had curly hair. B'Elanna's might normally be curly too. He's never seen it curl beyond how it looks when she spends the night. The memories make him smile. He'd been good to his word and sex-iled William nearly as often as William sex-iled him. Tom would like to see B'Elanna's curly hair. Maybe he can convince her to let it down. 

"_I_ mess up your hair," he comments suggestively as he runs a hand over the back of her head. He probably shouldn't be so forward at work but no one is close enough to hear them. It's most of the full-timers' lunch hour. There's only one person and she's in the other corner of the shuttle bay: B'Elanna's mentor he thinks. He places his hand on her upper back, wanting to be near. "You don't seem to mind me that much." He sees the corner of her lips quirk up. 

"No, I suppose not." 

"B'Elanna," Tom jerks his hand away. Maybe her mentor is the strict type. His had been. It'd surprised him being that he was a pilot too. Until that day, he'd never known a sour pilot. B'Elanna looks up as if she's apologizing for Tom's behavior. He should leave. He doesn't want her to get in trouble, or worse, lose her job. She'd never talk to him again. "Go ahead and take lunch." There's an unmistakable glitter in the Bolian's kind eyes. "I can finish that for you." They flit to Tom. "Make sure she eats something. She'll work herself to the bone if I let her." She chuckles. 

"I, uh," B'Elanna seems flustered and she's definitely blushing. She's probably not used to being the sweet young thing everyone wants to be happy. It's endearing. Tom's heart flutters at her discomfort. She's so damned adorable. He'll never say it. Not to her face anyway, but damn. He pulls the tool out of her hand and places it at the top of her toolbox. Tom stands. His hand goes around her arm to pull her up after. 

"Come on, B'El. Let's get lunch." She smiles shyly. 

"Okay, Tom." 

They decide to go to a little Mexican Taqueria down the street. B'Elanna says their enchiladas remind her of her father's cooking. They'd talked about fathers a little that day and Tom found out hers had left and she blames herself, or rather, her Klingon half, for it. The waitress knows them well by now. Tom slips his card in her pocket so she knows to charge him when they're through and only pretend to charge B'Elanna. What can he say? He's a traditionalist. He waits for the food to arrive before approaching his looming assignment. 

"So, about graduation," Tom starts warily. 

"I have something to tell you." They speak at the same time, laugh, and B'Elanna gestures for him to speak first. 

"I got my post-graduation assignment. I'm pretty excited about it. But it's off-world..." Tom fidgets with his napkin at his right on the table. She looks concerned and it occurs to Tom that he started this all wrong. It sounds like he's trying to break up with her. He quickly continues lest she gets angry before she gets sad. It's a very real possibility. "I want us to stay together," he blurts. "I understand if you can't." His chest is tight at the thought. "I don't even know how often I'll be able to visit." He's rambling now. "And then when you graduate you could end up on the other side of the galaxy." He laughs nervously to stop his rambling. He's showing his hand, his heart. He'd implied they might be together forever. It's almost embarrassing, but he wants her to know. B'Elanna's hand finds his, stilling his abuse of the napkin. 

"I know you got your assignment." She looks bashful. "William told me. And Ricardo knows one of their doctors works there." She shrugs. "They got me a summer job, actually." Tom's eyes widen. 

"On Caldik Prime?" He has to be sure. She nods. 

"It'll only be for the summer. Maybe the next one too. I don't know." She looks down at the middle of the table. "And I don't know what assignment I'll get after I graduate." She smiles softly when she looks up. Is she showing him her hand, her heart too? She squeezes his hand. "We'll figure it out." She is.

* * *

_Darling just dive right in_

_But it's so true, so true_

* * *

The last month of classes goes quickly for B'Elanna. She's in her element at St. Mary's. Her classes turned out well. She'd even made a friend on the track team, one who isn't leaving this year. Tom comes to mind while she packs her room into four bins and two suitcases. She's gotten used to his company. What will it be like without him on campus? William's leaving too, staying in the Bay area but not on campus. She'll still see Ricardo frequently, but it won't be the same. The three of them are her closest friends. 

Tom's special. Her mother would have a fit. Probably throw something breakable. It doesn't matter now. B'Elanna has no intention of calling her mother to tell her why she isn't coming home for the summer. She'd only said she isn't and her mother hung up on her. Rudely. B'Elanna sighs as the uncomfortable memory comes back. She tries focusing on the future instead. 

She'll have a whole summer with Tom. She won't have school or track, so maybe she'll have more time for him. As the year came to a close, she'd started feeling like she'd missed out on his company. It isn't like her reasons to give him only moments of her time are bad. She's setting the road for her future by focusing on her studies. But there's another kind of future she's excited to see. It involves Tom. It involves being the chief engineer on a ship he's piloting. Or just an engineer. But she does want to be chief one day. It'd be a testament to her Klingon heritage and a good homage to her father. She wonders if he's still in Starfleet. She'd yet to bring herself to look him up. She has access to the databases now that she's at the Academy. It would be an easy matter of a name search. 

B'Elanna picks up the scarf, jacket, and hat as she debates what to do with them. She shouldn't need them for the summer. The part of Caldik Prime she and Tom will be working at has a season schedule similar to Earth's. She dumps them into a bin, covers it with the lid and kneels on it to get it to close. She tapes it shut for good measure. How often will he visit after the summer? How often will they call each other? She looks around her room. Everything but the clothes and bedding she'll take with her are packed. She goes to her bare desk and texts Tom. 

_:: Can you come help me move my things to storage? ::_ He answers quickly. 

_:: Sure, be there in five. ::_ It brings a smile to her face when she mentally reads the message in his voice. Her mom would definitely be angry. She debates having her memory blocked to make her forget about her mother but the thought strikes her as cruel and unnecessary. Besides, maybe her mother will eventually become proud of her. It isn't everyday that a half-Klingon gets through a year at the Academy. Tom rings her chime and B'Elanna lets him in with a smile. She rises to her toes to kiss him, softly, sweetly. It's such a nice sensation. Nothing at all like her apprehensive first kiss or clumsy second. Third really is the charm. Third plus is just icing on the cake. When they break, he leaves his hands on her waist, bends to smooch her one last time, and then walks past her to the bins. 

"All packed then?" He picks up the first bin. She picks up the second. They walk together to storage in the basement, taking the elevator and setting the bins down while it descends. 

"Yeah." 

"Excited?" 

"Nervous too." 

"What do you have to be nervous about?" 

"For starters, we'll be living together." He smirks. 

"That's a bad thing?" It really isn't. She's spent probably a third of her nights in his bed. Sometimes they just cuddled. Sometimes they didn't. But there had always been the option to go back to her own bed alone. 

"It's just a little surprising that Ricardo swung it that way for us." He shrugs. 

"Not really. The brightest always get the best accommodations in Starfleet." B'Elanna smirks. 

"Good thing I'm here then." He set himself up too easily for that one. It was hardly fun. Tom laughs. 

"Hey, do you see me complaining? What else are you nervous about?" 

"The job. Ricardo told me he put a special word in for them to take me. Normally they don't hire interns who haven't finished their second year." She rocks on her feet, feeling nervous all over again. It's a dream come true: working on something she'll love with her boyfriend nearby. But it's a lot of pressure. Not only is she representing the Academy; she's representing her home, her heritage, her future. Doing badly won't bring her good fortune and she hopes Tom will understand if she has to work late to keep up sometimes. 

"You'll do fine, B'El." His nickname for her sets her spine tingling. No one had ever given her a nickname she liked. "They wouldn't have hired you if they didn't think you could do the job. Don't worry." The elevator doors open. The two of them pick up her bins and walk to storage. 

* * *

_And follow my lead_

_I love you even more than I did before_

* * *

"We will begin with a few flight maneuvers." That strikes Tom as odd. Hadn't he proven his piloting skills by graduating the Academy? The Lieutenant J.G. stops pacing and looks at Tom sideways. "I don't doubt your abilities or your record. I just like to get to know my new pilots. You don't mind?" This man is puzzling. He'll give him orders and then revert to asking his permission a few moments later. Tom wonders if Lieutenant J.G. is a recent promotion. He'd been overjoyed to be assigned to Caldik Prime. It's known for its quick promotions. 

"No, Sir." 

"Prepare the shuttle. I'll meet you in a moment. Dismissed." Tom doesn't relax his shoulders until he steps into the corridor outside the meeting room. He makes his way to the shuttle bay, only stopping to consult a map once. B'Elanna's working closely with her new mentor: a tall balding man with a wide smile. She seems comfortable in his presence. Tom doesn't want to bother them. He takes to the shuttle at the end of the line, confirms that it is operational, and begins his pre-flight checks. Lieutenant Batzir arrives just a moment after Tom finishes the last check. He wonders if the Lieutenant has the pre-flight checklist timed so he can show up at the right moment. Batzir takes the co-pilot seat and lets Tom take off, fly his maneuvers, and return with nothing more than directions for what to do and head nods for praise. The Lieutenant leaves him with rules and regulations to go over before tomorrow. Tom spends the rest of his shift brushing up on planet-side base protocol. He doesn't even notice it's time for dinner until his commbadge chirps and startles him. B'Elanna's on the other end. 

"Dinner?" 

"You finished?" He's actually surprised she didn't try staying longer. She'd seemed happy to be doing what her mentor was showing her earlier. 

"Yeah. I thought you'd be back already but I guess you'll be more busy than me given this is your actual job." Does she sound a little jealous or is that his imagination? 

"Jealous?" Her pealing laughter comes through the commlink somewhat garbled but it doesn't make him smile any less. 

"No. Why would I want to be a pilot?" Tom laughs at her comment. He can't imagine her ever being a pilot. 

"I could show you sometime. Maybe you'll change your mind?" 

"And risk being assigned far from you? No thank you." Did she just say that? He doesn't answer her, too shocked to find words. "Tom?" She sounds hesitant over the crackle of the link. 

"I'm still here. I'll be over in a bit." 

"Good, bring plates. We don't have any nor the rations to replicate them with food." 

"Are you giving me an order Crewman?" His snide comment has the desired effect which is to make her laugh. 

"It's just a request, Sir." It brings him a little pride to have a rank up on someone. Not that it wouldn't change eventually. It's just that right now he's a little tired of Sir-ing and Ma'am-ing everyone around. He hasn't worked with any other Ensigns yet so that's all he's done today. 

"Your request is noted," he says in his best command voice. "Paris out." Tom wonders if it's too late yet to eat outside as he clears his table in the work room. While in the air, Tom spotted a secluded looking forest below them. The vines and brush looked overgrown. He wasn't sure if that had been intentional or accidental. Either way, it looked like a nice place for a picnic: out of the way, quiet, perfect for them. He stops by the mess hall to grab two plates discretely and then heads to their cabin with a skip in his step. 

* * *

_Well I found someone beautiful and sweet_

_But, darling, what can I do?_

* * *

What did I do to deserve this? That's the only coherent thought B'Elanna can muster. Tom's holding her arms too hard. He looks horrified, grief-stricken. His cheeks are tear-stained and she doesn't know why, only that it's hurting her as much as it's hurting him. She wants him to snap out of it. She wants this nightmare to be over. She doesn't deserve this kind of punishment. She really believes she's finally making something of herself. Something more than a battle-crazed Klingon or timid human. Tom is speaking. She tunes in finally. 

"...I can’t come back." 

"Why?" He hadn't told her. Or maybe he had and she wasn't listening. She does that sometimes. Tunes him out when she's working and only notices him again when he steals a kiss. It dawns on her that he can't come back because he has to leave her. He doesn't want her. Tears spring to her eyes. It's like being five all over again. She fists his uniform, so red like the blood when he'd accidentally broke her nose, so red like the roses he'd replicated to apologize. 

"I-I killed them." He talks fast and low. "We crashed—_I_ crashed—and they found us but I wiped the files and I made it look like an ion storm ripped us out of the sky." He's crying again. She is too. He's ripping himself away from her like a stubborn bandaid. She isn't ready. She doesn't want to hurt. 

"No. nono. Youcan'tgo." Her words are jumbling together in her tears. She tries to calm down, to not make this about her. "You just got promoted." She doesn't want him to go. She'll do anything to get him to stay. B'Elanna doesn't care what he's done, just so long as that list doesn't include leaving her. She's in deeper than she thought she was. This will kill her. That must be why her chest feels so tight and so bare at the same time. 

"I have to." He repeats quieter, resting his forehead and nose on hers. She likes his smooth forehead. It always centers her. "I have to." He's pulling away from her. She clings. He stills. Brushes a kiss to her lips, her nose, her forehead. 

"Where will you go?" Her voice breaks mid-sentence and the words are half-swallowed. He understands her or anticipates her question. She isn't sure which. 

"I don't know. They're gonna put me out of Starfleet." She tugs him closer. 

"Stay. You don't know." 

"I do know. I covered it up." His voice cracks. "They won't let me fly a _cargo_ ship." He looks up to hide his tears. B'Elanna doesn't know if it's from having to leave or from having killed people. 

"I won't let you leave." He looks back down. 

"B'Elanna, I _can't_." He pries her hands from his uniform and she lets him. She won't force him to stay. She honestly doesn't believe she deserves him, even now. He circles their room—she chokes up at that but doesn't move—as he gathers his things. His bag is packed quickly. He kisses her before he goes, holds her close. "Promise me you won't forget me?" He tries one of his disarming smiles but he can't muster it. B'Elanna doesn't think she'd be able to hold herself together if he had. She doesn't answer. She _can't._ He leaves without another word, without another kiss, without another hug. 

* * *

_I never knew you were the someone waiting for me_

_From this moment on, I'll be crying for you._

* * *

**Author's Note:**

> I'm so sorry to do this, but it's gonna be awhile before they come back.


End file.
